Sore eyes

This past 2 weeks I have been suffering from sore and red eyes. First right eye and now the left. They water like mad and I look tearful =( Siew Kuan and Willy were very sweet, buying cooling water and Optrex eye wash and bath. So funny when Willy was so anxious about not noticing the redness and trying to see how monstrous I look!!!

I'm going to see an eye specialist with a referral from the general practitioner. Hope it's nothing too serious. I was surprised at a message from him, I mean, I may look like a witch now but still not witchy enough to cast a nasty gloom on him. I know he's happy now with a pretty girlfriend and a job, he doesn't need a vengeful ghost from the past haunting him. And, he was never there when I needed him when we were together, I must be stupid to think he'll be there when we're just friends now. (e.g. no moral support when driving instructor shredded my confidence, no sick visits, no... you can see how vengeful this ghost is!!!)

Still, I care enough to always ask about him when meeting common friends and I know I'd go all out to help if anything untoward happens to him, hope that never happens. But it's really SHIT, when I have to keep reaching out first when he is the one saying he wants to be friends. Breathe in, breathe out, must calm myself down. I guess he was kind enough to respond to an imagined stress call? Won't put too much hope in that though, it's always such a disappointment to find out my faith has been misplaced.

A simple and meaningful story goes somewhat like this:
How do you put an elephant in the refrigerator?
Open the door, put the elephant in
How do you put a giraffe in the refrigerator?
Open the door, take out the elephant and put the giraffe in
The refrigerator is your heart, the elephant and giraffe represent anger and love respectively.

My heart is full of anger, hurt and bitterness now. Time to take out the elephant and welcome the giraffe. Love for life, for fellow brothers and sisters, and for vitamin M!!!

Eulogy to Hammie

Usually I would tickle Hammie's tummy a little before going off to work, but I can't do that anymore. I hope my colleagues won't ask me why I'm blue when I just had my convocation (Sunday, 13th July 2008), but I am because Hammie passed away on Tuesday, 15th July.

Hammie, you have brought me smiles somedays, tears on many, but I still give thanks for you entering my life.

How cute you look when you sleep in a little ball, suck from your drinking bottle and greedily plunge into your feeding dish. Nobody can look as cute as you doing pull-ups and sit-ups =)

All the trouble you caused by being noisy at inappropriate hours and being cranky in your old age will always be forgiven.

Maybe I should ask to be forgiven. I have been neglectful because I felt hurt to even look at you sometimes. Inanimate presents could be locked up and out of sight but not you who needs looking after.

Maybe you would be happier being looked after by another. I was mad when I heard a girl dumped a puppy she bought for an ex-boyfriend so I determined to care for you properly. Apparently I failed.

I hope you are in a better place now. With more food and freedom to run about, perhaps a cherubic angel or two stuffing you with pistachio nut bits that you love, with sparkling clear water to wash it down.

End of your life and end of a chapter of my life. Although I will always remember you, I really wish to forget the person closely connected to you who has brought me much sorrow.

Hammie, farewell for now. If we ever meet again in whatever afterlife forms, let us meet in happier circumstances.

Joking lightens work

Work is getting busier and I am learning quite a bit. However, it is a little unsatisfying to know that 4 years of mostly theories are not quite applicable in real life =( Maybe because I'm in the owner's route.

Let me explain a bit, for an engineer, there are 3 main routes: contractor, owner and consultant. Contractors focus on construction, bringing the design to life. Consultants do the designing. Owners mainly coordinate between the construction and consultants, more on project management and less technical. So I'm the owner, I get to ask loads of questions and boss others around... mwahaha!

Luckily, I have really nice colleagues who are always ready to share and joke. Just like today, Willy, a fellow fresh graduate and new employee, showed me slides and documents on his project, a scaled-down version of mine. I thought they were helpful and shouted at Stuart, my ang moh boss, joyfully for the same information when he came by.

"Stuart!"
"What do you want now?" his lanky frame makes unsuccessful shrinking into a less conspicuous bulk
"Willy has been showing me things!" me in excitement and innocence
"What has Willy been showing you?" looking at Willy in a pseudo aghast manner

Willy, anxious to appear nice and innocent, hurriedly showed Stuart the said information. Only later did I realize and laughed at how Stuart misconstrued my words. Ok, off to look at the information Stuart dumped onto me.