Sore eyes

This past 2 weeks I have been suffering from sore and red eyes. First right eye and now the left. They water like mad and I look tearful =( Siew Kuan and Willy were very sweet, buying cooling water and Optrex eye wash and bath. So funny when Willy was so anxious about not noticing the redness and trying to see how monstrous I look!!!

I'm going to see an eye specialist with a referral from the general practitioner. Hope it's nothing too serious. I was surprised at a message from him, I mean, I may look like a witch now but still not witchy enough to cast a nasty gloom on him. I know he's happy now with a pretty girlfriend and a job, he doesn't need a vengeful ghost from the past haunting him. And, he was never there when I needed him when we were together, I must be stupid to think he'll be there when we're just friends now. (e.g. no moral support when driving instructor shredded my confidence, no sick visits, no... you can see how vengeful this ghost is!!!)

Still, I care enough to always ask about him when meeting common friends and I know I'd go all out to help if anything untoward happens to him, hope that never happens. But it's really SHIT, when I have to keep reaching out first when he is the one saying he wants to be friends. Breathe in, breathe out, must calm myself down. I guess he was kind enough to respond to an imagined stress call? Won't put too much hope in that though, it's always such a disappointment to find out my faith has been misplaced.

A simple and meaningful story goes somewhat like this:
How do you put an elephant in the refrigerator?
Open the door, put the elephant in
How do you put a giraffe in the refrigerator?
Open the door, take out the elephant and put the giraffe in
The refrigerator is your heart, the elephant and giraffe represent anger and love respectively.

My heart is full of anger, hurt and bitterness now. Time to take out the elephant and welcome the giraffe. Love for life, for fellow brothers and sisters, and for vitamin M!!!