Everyone must be really excited about Singapore hosting F1, me too actually, experiencing quite a bit of the promotional events in my workplace. However, I am quite relieved that it's over.
See, I could hear the revving of engines on Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights from my home (in close proximity to town). Being a sleep-a-holic, the noise disrupted my sleep, making me grounchy! So was rather amused when my colleagues told me that the revving sound is what makes catching F1 live heart-thumping.
Anyway, on this quiet night, I had a chance to sort out my thinking somewhat. You asked me, "Don't you want me to be happy?" At that time, I thought that was the height of selfishness, typical that you would only think of yourself.
But, I suppose I was just as selfish. My anger must have come from the desire to be more precious. I was hurt that you did not feel the loss of me more keenly. I wished my sacrifices were not in vain.
I think I had always wanted you to be happy. Why else would I have let you sacrificed me so many times for your pursuit of happiness? Instead of wishing to be dearer, I wish now for magnanimity to let you sacrifice me one last time for your happiness.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Monday, September 22, 2008
YELLOW
Returned my convocation gown today and it sucks. You know, some places become connected to some people. That's why I always find HCJC cheering and NUS depressing.
Haunted by what ifs... what if I had persevered, what if I had chosen differently, what if I had spent time to know others more and better, what if I had listened when others said I was being too nice and taken advantage of...
Aiya, it's over and done with really. The person who breaks the trust will most likely not find it worth his while to rebuild it. People who are more selfish are happier, when you don't concern yourself with other people's emotions, you concentrate on your own happiness.
The lesson is simple, concentrate on making a fortune. The most important colour is yellow, yellow for gold! Red for the painful and costly passion; blue for the melancholic musings. Gold is lasting $$$$$$
Yellow just made me laugh. I decided to get lemon face wash. Was scrubbing my face vigorously when I realized it looks just like dish washing liquid! For a moment, I felt like my face was a dish and laughed.
Haunted by what ifs... what if I had persevered, what if I had chosen differently, what if I had spent time to know others more and better, what if I had listened when others said I was being too nice and taken advantage of...
Aiya, it's over and done with really. The person who breaks the trust will most likely not find it worth his while to rebuild it. People who are more selfish are happier, when you don't concern yourself with other people's emotions, you concentrate on your own happiness.
The lesson is simple, concentrate on making a fortune. The most important colour is yellow, yellow for gold! Red for the painful and costly passion; blue for the melancholic musings. Gold is lasting $$$$$$
Yellow just made me laugh. I decided to get lemon face wash. Was scrubbing my face vigorously when I realized it looks just like dish washing liquid! For a moment, I felt like my face was a dish and laughed.
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Cheers at work
Got issued a new laptop to replace my cranky one at work. So was really excited and fiddled with it happily until I realized I had to PAY for it if it got stolen or damaged. Freaked out and kept it under lock and key when I go home, whereas the old one was so condemned that I know nobody in their right mind would steal it. My mind also keeps wandering to its safety when I had to leave it sitting on my desk (screaming, "STEAL ME! I'm the LATEST model!"), always scrambling back and heaving a sigh of relief to see it still there.
My PPE (personal protection equipment) consists of a helmet, bright yellow vest and juggernaut boots have been the butt of jokes. Especially the boots, they're McDonald's footwear and whatnot. Alex has been merciless, "I know you don't like somebody but there's no need to make yourself so ugly!" He's always teasing me, but he got his comeuppance: after going on about that somebody, that somebody entered the room when Alex was on his biscuit, causing him to choke!
Although work is difficult, my colleagues liven up the week. I enjoyed myself immensely playing badminton and table-tennis. Being newbies, we hardly used the table, the ball flies everywhere, mostly over and under. I was laughing so hard my tummy and cheeks hurt terribly, and I remarked that theoretically, laughing hard may build up 8-pack. Bryan returned with, "Yup, you don't know meh, we're actually training abs here!"
This theory was introduced to me in HCJC wushu when Teresa and me laughed incessantly. Got a good dose of reminiscence when we met up at my place last night to celebrate Huijun's belated birthday and a kind of mid-autumn gathering. Junyuan made delicious snowskin mooncakes, I want to learn from him! Was so glad to see Gary too, have not seen him in years, funny because we used to hide when he comes and suggests that we all go for "short jogs" (they are actually marathons).
My PPE (personal protection equipment) consists of a helmet, bright yellow vest and juggernaut boots have been the butt of jokes. Especially the boots, they're McDonald's footwear and whatnot. Alex has been merciless, "I know you don't like somebody but there's no need to make yourself so ugly!" He's always teasing me, but he got his comeuppance: after going on about that somebody, that somebody entered the room when Alex was on his biscuit, causing him to choke!
Although work is difficult, my colleagues liven up the week. I enjoyed myself immensely playing badminton and table-tennis. Being newbies, we hardly used the table, the ball flies everywhere, mostly over and under. I was laughing so hard my tummy and cheeks hurt terribly, and I remarked that theoretically, laughing hard may build up 8-pack. Bryan returned with, "Yup, you don't know meh, we're actually training abs here!"
This theory was introduced to me in HCJC wushu when Teresa and me laughed incessantly. Got a good dose of reminiscence when we met up at my place last night to celebrate Huijun's belated birthday and a kind of mid-autumn gathering. Junyuan made delicious snowskin mooncakes, I want to learn from him! Was so glad to see Gary too, have not seen him in years, funny because we used to hide when he comes and suggests that we all go for "short jogs" (they are actually marathons).
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Happy or Sad?
This morning was a comedy of errors, although I did not think so then. I happily sneaked out of the house in the wee hours of dawn to grab the earliest train at 5.45am to reach work at 6.30am (and to prevent papa from accompanying me). After twiddling my thumbs real long, I found out trains are later on Sundays, leaving me 10min to reach work on time.
My handphone broke down on me and could not call taxis so I borrowed the counter staff's (an Indian guy) handphone. As a result, I had to run a bit to catch up to the taxi as the driver was not expecting a harried chinese girl.
When I reach the airport, I ran all the way to the control room and slipped on a puddle of water beside the drinks area. So embarrassing! Right in front of the technicians =( But they were rather nice and the boring work was livened up by one of them showing me his photos from his course in Denmark.
I had planned to go to East Coast earlier on because I think I need the sun, getting pale and peaky like a ghost. Being tired, I snoozed on the bus and missed my stop, so had to trekked under the hot sun to reach there. I mean I wanted to feel sunlight on me but not to this extent!!!
But it was all worth it. Not a good cyclist myself, always jamming brakes whenever I see obstacles in front or worse, obstacles approaching me! However, I was going fast enough to feel some breeze and hear my dangly earrings tinkle... haha. I like to look at the sky but I felt the skyline at the coast was a bit marred by the gazillion construction cranes for the upcoming IR.
The placard at the sand sculpture exhibition caught my eye, "Take time to be still, For Beauty exist only when we care and feel." That's so true, especially when I'm caught up with everyday tasks at work. Contemplating nature (East Coast Park is more "natural" than most parts of Singapore) brings a smile.
A bit melancholic really, because some memories lead me to think that so many things are transient. Hope time, like the tide, will wash away the hurt and pain.
My handphone broke down on me and could not call taxis so I borrowed the counter staff's (an Indian guy) handphone. As a result, I had to run a bit to catch up to the taxi as the driver was not expecting a harried chinese girl.
When I reach the airport, I ran all the way to the control room and slipped on a puddle of water beside the drinks area. So embarrassing! Right in front of the technicians =( But they were rather nice and the boring work was livened up by one of them showing me his photos from his course in Denmark.
I had planned to go to East Coast earlier on because I think I need the sun, getting pale and peaky like a ghost. Being tired, I snoozed on the bus and missed my stop, so had to trekked under the hot sun to reach there. I mean I wanted to feel sunlight on me but not to this extent!!!
But it was all worth it. Not a good cyclist myself, always jamming brakes whenever I see obstacles in front or worse, obstacles approaching me! However, I was going fast enough to feel some breeze and hear my dangly earrings tinkle... haha. I like to look at the sky but I felt the skyline at the coast was a bit marred by the gazillion construction cranes for the upcoming IR.
The placard at the sand sculpture exhibition caught my eye, "Take time to be still, For Beauty exist only when we care and feel." That's so true, especially when I'm caught up with everyday tasks at work. Contemplating nature (East Coast Park is more "natural" than most parts of Singapore) brings a smile.
A bit melancholic really, because some memories lead me to think that so many things are transient. Hope time, like the tide, will wash away the hurt and pain.
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