To the world, he was a soldier; to me, he was the world

Just watched the ending of a very tragic documentary on the history channel, Last Day of World War I: 11th Month, 11th Day, 11th Hour. It described the senseless deaths of thousands of soldiers just hours before the end of the war.

The Armistice (warring parties agree to stop fighting) was signed but some American officers continued to order men into the field due to ambiguous directions and for their own vain-glory. As a result, men who were told they could go home and had families and friends already celebrating their home-coming, either died or returned badly injured.

An anonymous epitaph by a grieving parent went something like this:
To the world, he was a soldier; to me, he was the world.

It is sad that the pain of thousands of nameless individuals are usually left out. The saddest part of all is that these futile waste of lives are still carrying on. Wars, assassinations and fighting still hogged news headlines every so often.

My wish for the new year is for a better tomorrow for everybody.

Animation

Been watching lots of stuff to cheer myself up, my current favourite is School Rumble and my msn nick is on it... the quote is somewhat from one of it's main character Harima Kenji. He is an ex-delinquent who goes to school now to get close to his love interest, clueless and hopeless Tsukamoto Tenma, who loves another.

I like what he said, "The truth hurts... but if just thinking won't net me any results, then I won't even think. And accept it all. Even then, I'm still able to smile." Thanks for everyone's concern! And watch School Rumble!





Anyway, I watch some Disney clips on Youtube and I don't know why a lot of my friends dismiss Snow White, I think the drawing is beautiful. Please take a look although it loads slowly.




It has a softer look and maybe it's soppy romance but I think the innocence is sweet, rather unlike the wittiness of later Disney shows like this one from Aladdin.

Of course I enjoyed it but sometimes I miss the old school feeling, where everything is pure and lovely. I think it's a trend towards cynicism which is a little sad. Sigh, got to go back to work. Haven't been quite able to concentrate but shall try!

Xianhong's farewell to me

This is a sad song from Tanya that described his feelings... it's nice but heart-breaking for me

Tonight I write the saddest lines...

Tonight I write the saddest lines... because of I'm alone again, romantically speaking, I've still got friends (I hope, kidding to all friends out there). The truth hurts but I can still take it and smile.

I am sorry to Xianhong for all the heartaches I caused him and I thank him for all the good times.
I wish him all the best and that he'll be happy always.
I'll still shower Hammie with tender loving care... because he's old and I want him to enjoy whatever time that remains to him... joking, it's more for the love we shared.

To all friends, I am sorry for being distracted and distant all these while. I have been too wrapped up in my own misery and neglected everyone else.

Haix, I am sorry it turned out this way but I guess we're too different. I don't remember how we met but I do remember we were classmates and I found him irritating! He would ask the tutor difficult questions and I sat through them because I was too kiasu not to and felt irritated as I want to go home! Later, we became friends and had great fun as a class doing crazy things like run after physics exam.

I dunno when he started to like me as I was still thinking of someone else. It was so sweet, he thought of activities to do every weekend even though he was busy with hall orientation. One night, he told me a story of a boy who liked a girl very much but did not know what to do because he knew she still like someone else and admitted himself to be the boy. I was touched by his promise to make me smile again.

I was really happy and liked doing things for him, buying supper and everything. I think the turning point was when he decided I do project with him and go SEP with him. I was very stressed doing project with him and his friends, they were a close bunch and I could not but feel left out. Being a homely person, going SEP was a fruitful but painful experience.

Miserably, I took it out on him by faulting him and dredging up past misdeeds... my favourite being him not taking time out from hall to see me when I was ill. Ok, shan't remind myself of unhappy things! Shall think of the nice things he did like buying plaster for my blistering feet instead.

Anyway, it's like a dream with a rude awakening. I am hurt and sad but he is too, I am sorry to be the cause of it. Once again, my great apologies and thanks for everything... Take care and farewell!

Er ge's Big Day on October 23, 2007

When I was in year 1, I went to Yunnan for Youth Expedition Programme (YEP) to do some community service. There I met lots of wonderful people and my "three ge ges" (elder brothers): Willie (da ge), Eddie (er ge) and David (san ge).

Eddie got married to his high school sweetheart on tuesday, 23rd October 2007 and I am so happy for him! I thought that very sweet because when I was little, I always thought I would marry the very first guy I fall in love with but I don't think that is going to be the case for me. Anyway, I decided to draw something for him...


Well, his bride was prettier and I was chagrined when mummy asked why the groom looked like Xianhong!!! During the dinner at Swissotel Clarke Quay, I met up with some of fellow YEP-ers and was specially pleased to meet up with Willie. He was the emcee for the night and was ever so funny! He told me he had to keep reminding himself not to confuse my name with the bride's, it would be terribly embarrassing if he did!

The night went on without a hitch. Eddie and Yuelian, the bride and groom, looked wonderful and happy (oops, no pictures of them here as they were too busy). I wish them a rich and fulfilling life together!

Down with flu

Felt funny Thursday night, worse on Friday and before I know it... wham! I have been struck down with flu! Been a little delirious with the fever, everything looked hazy (even the computer screen now, so if there are any errors, pahdun mi) and I had a real nightmare Saturday night, shan't talk about it.

I was just cleaning my Hammie's cage, the little one was starving and thirsty (i swear he eats his own weight in food per day!) and I thought how much simpler life would be if I could be happy just to eat, drink and sleep like him. To be satisfied easily and not be crushed by negative sensitivity.

Explanation: small actions by loved ones affect me so much more than strangers' large ones. When my parents raise their voice at me, I feel a stinging in my eyes; when a not-very-close teacher give me a tongue-lashing, I keep a mutinous silence.

Think this is best said by 2 characters near the end of Dragonlance Legends Volume III: Test of the Twins:
Tasslehoff Burrfoot asked, "It's hard -- caring -- isn't it, Caramon? It hurts sometimes."
Caramon Majere replied, "... It hurts a lot of the time. But the hurt is better than being empty inside."

Stories offer all sorts of knowledge if you just look for them. Reading is like travelling through different times, dimensions, people and places. Not only does one leaves behind troubles in reality, but also get inspired by heroic deeds and empathise with characters' losses.

Sorry, my mind is clouded with gloomy thoughts like a pond with the mud stirred up, hence this garbled post. A sick student with projects and exams looming ahead is not a happy one.

Spending time alone

Oops, I have put off updating my post exam travels for so long that I think it is best to do them after my exams. Anyway, I have been busy at school lately and I must say that this school term has been a rather unhappy time. Usually, no matter how hectic school is, I can find something about it to enjoy, but not this time. Perhaps it is my last year and I am discovering that I am not cut out for engineering... of all the times to discover this fact!

Well, to put my mind off such disturbing thoughts, I picked up beading/beadcraft/whatever-you-call-it. Here are some of my works!

I have also resumed painting, but being rusty from lack of practice, shall show here a piece I did some time back. The new one was too ugly, I shall practice more before putting up nicer ones!

I find that I like to make things. There is a sense of satifaction after the end and when I am absorbed in the task, there is a quiet joy. I find that I like the tranquility of being alone. When my parents were away in Hong Kong and I was alone at home, it felt really good to cook and wash for myself and prepare everything nicely for them when they come back. Of course I missed them but it was fun nevertheless.

Alone and glad

Home Sweet Home!

I'm BACK! Sorry for the long absence. I was actually back for about a week already but was too lazy to start updating my blog and more importantly, too busy drinking in the sights, sounds and the wonderful feeling of being home!

The only person that was missing was my younger brother who has gone to Australia to study. I was really sad to not send him off. We've always been close, one year difference in age, there has never been a time in my memory when he's not around. We share a lot of traits and treasure each other very much. Wish he is doing well over there!

Shall commence updating my blog... soon! (I foresee a long draggy affair, seeing that I am a procrastinator) Meanwhile, I am looking forward to meeting up with friends =)

British people

Taking another break from studying for the last and most boring paper on human resource. The lecturer is a genial old man who always rambles on about Morrison's, a company he used to work for. But he and the Finite Element Analysis lecturer (the best-looking one we had with equally good-looking children we saw in the photos on his desk) are cool in that they cycle around campus. He was funny too when we wanted to take photo with him in the last tutorial, he said, "Should have combed my hair and more marks for those in the photo!"

I like the British humour and the friendliness of the older people. The older people will smile and make cheery comments when meeting you, like a scholarly-looking guy saying, "Good jog!" to a panting and wheezing me. Once when Xianhong and I were walking to town centre when an old man wobbling precariously on a bicycle on the road shouted, "Hello there!" to us and an old woman trembling in the car behind him. The most amusing has to be this old couple in front of me in the queue in the market. The lady chattered non-stop while the guy munched on toffees before putting one in her mouth and said, "That'd keep you quiet."

The younger Britishers are not as friendly but just as funny. Like Lydia's lab mates who poked fun at their lecturer, saying the angle of his moustaches indicate his mood. Besides having droopy moustaches and thick spectacles, this lecturer is hard of hearing and there are hilarious moments when there are altercations between him (who cannot hear their answers) and students (who are shouting answers). Once a student answered a question not directed at him and told the lecturer, "I thought you were asking me from the reflection in your glasses."

The younger set love drinking. At the party to celebrate Mei's birthday on the actual day, one crazy dude who claimed the best feeling in the world is being drunk said, "Why do drugs when there's this!" pointing to the bottle of beer in his hand.

The morning after that party, I watched a rugby match between France and New Zealand on a plasma screen. It was really funny to see huge man-mountains crashing into each other and scrabbling for the ball. One guy from the French team had a beard and looked like a towering Gimli the dwarf from Lord of the Rings. The best player had to be Rokofoko from All Blacks, the New Zealand team, who danced past the French side twice to score. The New Zealand All Blacks is one cool team, they do the Maori's war cry, the Haka, before each match.

These enormas guys are tremendously fast and they really are enormas. I often see the rugby team in Loughborough swaggering down the road in front of the library (the boots make them look like that). These strapping lads are more than two of me, probably three, and getting rammed by them has got to be like a car banging into you!

Ok, back to boring books =(

EXAMS... june 4-7 and 13

We've been travelling and playing and have built up sufficient guilt to mug 24/7 in the week leading to the exams, it is just like in NUS... yikes! It is especially torturing when the sunny weather outside makes one wants to play and picnic outdoors =(

The exams are mostly at 1600 - 1800 which is horrible because the waiting and mugging on that day drains me out. I prefer morning papers because then it is over and done with quickly and I can go on to the next paper. After exams, I heat up pizza and eat before hitting the books again. Exam hall etiquette here is a new experience, silence is mandatory unlike in NUS where everyone erupts into furious comparisons of results once the papers are collected. People can bring in food though, it is hilarious to see one guy gulping down Red Bull during the paper.

Oh well, four papers done and one more to go. I think I would pass although not brilliantly, sob. There was one paper that was so bad that an impaired performance thing has come up. It is held when too many students complained. This module was taught by a few lecturers, one is the humorous and excellent Henk Versteeg, our SEP coordinator and everyone banked on his portion to pass, the other is someone who was absent often and covered the subject so poorly that an online discussion went something like this:

"... can't seem to find this in the notes... ..."
"... think this is what you're looking for and the notes are rubbish, you're better off with the textbook..."

so there is going to be a kind of collection of signatures next week to justify all the complaints and action is to be taken which is rather cool.

Anyway, I have taken a breather by watching a wonderful Korean show called "Innocent Steps", about a girl from China who replaced her dancer sister as partner to a top Korean dancer making a comeback.

It has both funny and touching moments, and I like this kind of shows as I believe in telling great truths with humour. I thought the guy one ugly dude at the beginning but fell in love with him later on... haha. I liked the girl right from the start, so cute and pretty!

Reflections

I have been jogging in the morning around campus and it is a time to ponder and reflect for me. Being an earlybird, I jog alone on weekend mornings and admire the trees and shrubs and flowers. Sometimes, they give interesting insights.

Like this fence showing the lovely white flowers

I think it is shows that underneath the fence everyone built up around themselves is a beautiful soul. I thought of this because I have been quick to judge people recently for their flaws and not taken time to look for their inner beauty. Maybe, under all that annoying acts is a good friend who will never be one if I keep writing him or her off.

Then there are these wayside flowers that nobody notices, not eye-catching but possess a wistful charm on closer inspection

The cars whizzed by everyday and are blind to the beauty that surrounds them. It is just like people in this fast-paced technology-driven age, working hard without knowing exactly for what. Reminds me of the story of a young man rushing for work and being blocked by an elderly couple. They kept stopping to smell the roses and finally told the young man they took a lifetime to learn that.

Of course not every jog is full of deep thoughts, but they are always full of sights that make me smile. Ducks blocking my way while quacking to each other and squirrels scampering about for nuts. First time seeing roses growing and not in bouquets is really wondrous and I enjoy walking under trees that give showers of petals when the wind blows.

These everyday simple beauties make me think about how much there is to enjoy in life. I haven't been quite my cheery self and I think have turned rather irritable and gloomy. These morning jogs really brightened up my days. Below is a little bit of what I have taken such pleasures in, they are not stunning as there is insufficient light from the morning sun and more importantly, they are just flat 2D images, seeing them thus is different from seeing them surround you.

http://picasaweb.google.com/guai.ah.lian/Spring

Birthday Celebrations... may 25-26, 2007

The exchange students from NUS decided to hold a barbeque to celebrate Xianhong's (26th May) and Yuen Mei's (8th June) before we all get busy for... (prepare for dreadful news)... exams!

Xianhong and I went to town to buy his birthday present and surprise surprise, there was a spanish fair but we aren't going to try anything because we would be going to see the real spanish stuff after exams! Anyway, shopping with him is always a role reversal, I (the girl) would beg to leave and look terribly bored while he (the guy) would try on clothes and strut around =) so it was a SACRIFICE on my part to go with him to choose his bermudas and t-shirt (it is that warm now on some days).

While others prepared the barbeque later in the day, which included the birthday boy who insisted on being involved (I would have sat back and lazed), I baked a chocolate mousse cake for him and drew a picture, a sort of birthday card using cornflake box!

The barbeque started late but it's alright because at 9.00pm, the sky still looked about 5.00pm. We had fried beehoon, chicken wings and fillets, sausages, satay and chocolate banana... yummy! In between, the birthday people received their presents: traffic-stopping jacket, wallet and polo t-shirt for Xianhong and bunny girl band and dunnowat for Yuen Mei.

We barbequed until really late, night has fallen and it was chilly! No wonder we saw people barbequeing in the afternoon the other day, we thought that was an odd hour but now we know why. We scampered off as soon as we cleared up and went into the common room to sing happy birthday song and cut cake. Then we played polar bear and it was hilarious to see Xianhong, who sat beside me, insisting that I was one of the polar bears but nobody wanted to kill me (i really was one of the polar bears).

The next day, I baked cupcakes for breakfast! and sesame bread for lunch. Lucky guy, he gets all his favourite food on his birthday!

In the afternoon, we went to the swimming pool. It was my first time in an indoor pool and it was cool! I meant the water was warm but the place had huge timers and after a while, water polo players had a practice session (now is a good time to add that Loughborough is a famous sports university, having won the track nationals and female football and a rugby team so powerful that even a Wales under-21 was not included in the starting line-up).

Unfortunately, no photographs were allowed except those we sneakily took!

No fair! All the food did nothing for merger to occur!

Hurry before the lifeguards pounce on us!
The guys were fascinated with the blow-dryer as it showed how long their hair had grown... too expensive to cut here

We were famished and had a sumptuous dinner (as usual) before watching shows. I can't believe this, but I was hooked on Return of the Condor Heroes. It was a China production and the girl acting as Xiao Long Nv was ever so pretty but what a pity, I liked the character Cheng Ying better. Then we had Vienetta ice-cream cake before retiring for the night feeling satisfied.

A little more about home

After International Day, we've met up with the arts girls more and more often. The guys were obviously thrilled to be surrounded by girls for the first time away from home! And they're exciting arts girls, not boring engin girls like me =( Haha, they're really friendly and fun though, but because I am shy with strangers, I do feel a little lost sometimes.

Anyway, they all went to the last ISA (International Students Association) party that we were unaware of but I did not because I dislike pubs.

Yushan (rather innocent), Yingzi (boisterous), Aida (the prettiest and sharpest), Mei (Manchester fan), Melody (cute and funny), Lydia (wonderful roommate), Huiran (quiet) and Joan (demure)

Xianhong looking suave with Jerry (who has Bruneian royal blood coursing through his veins)...
While they were clubbing, I stayed behind and dutifully did homework... nah! I was watching clips of Dick Lee's 30th anniversary concert. They are hilarious!

International Day... may 2, 2007

After the busy Easter, one would think that sleepy Loughborough would be tame but nothing could be further from the truth. Just a week into taking a breather from all the travelling, 2 Singaporean girls asked for our help in setting up the Singapore booth for International Day. They are 2 of the 7 arts girls from NUS on exchange here -- Melody, Aida, Joan, Yingzi, Huiran, Mei and Yushan. Amazingly, we never talked even though they stayed in Butler Court too!

Apparently, we were unfriendly when they approached us on the first day of our arrival in UK. Now, after our gruelling trek to Butler Court with our luggage and whatnot, we were so drained that we did not remember being unfriendly. Also the usual stereotypes came in, engin people have low EQ... so only when there's a time of crisis then we came together!

The Singapore Society's new head is a Singaporean but most of his committee members are non-Singaporeans... so he's shorthanded on International Day where international students (exchange students are neither here nor there) set up booths to showcase their home country. Our job is to do what we were told to do as he's got everything down pat.

Maybe it's his first assignment, but the Singapore booth was not very well done. Firstly, Xianhong and Lester arrived before him to set up the tables. Then there were stains on display items that he did not notice. Luckily Lydia (the female doraemon) had wet tissue that Xianhong and I used to scrub off. He did not see the posters the arts girls did but luckily, they were good and one on Singapore's 10 facts was funny. For food, we had vacuum packed ba gua (bbq pork), teh tarik, kopi and tiger beer. Unfortunately, Xianhong and I had to run out to buy more disposable cups and missed the opening ceremony by the mayor.

Oh well, we had fun though, going around trying food from all the stalls like everyone else. Most of the stalls were Middle Eastern and so the food was about the same but nice, and the girls were all so pretty! There was also a fashion show on all the national costumes followed by some dance performances. The Greeks invited people to dance with them and Xianhong, Lydia and I did! Then the arts girls came dressed up in baju kurong and cheongsam and looked lovely.

http://picasaweb.google.com/guai.ah.lian/InternationalDay

I think the best thing about this International Day was meeting people. We knew the arts girls because of International Day and had amusing conversations with people who visited our booth. The mayor's wife did not want to try teh tarik after reading about newater (we drink our pee), a Brit lady was going to Singapore because her boyfriend was posted there and a cool rapper dude asked about the chewing gum ban and shocked us with him not smoking and drinking. Guess we must not be trapped by stereotypes!

Lazy London... april 18-20, 2007

We arrived at London late in the night. Luckily, Papa's friend Mr Saiful was there to bring us to the hostel Papa paid 1/2 for everyone as a belated birthday treat... thank you! Mr Saiful is extremely hospitable, bringing us there, liasing with the hostel staff, giving us maps, pointing out places to eat and even coming round the next day to see how we're doing!

Our hostel right at the end...While Lester met up with his friend, the rest of us made a trip to Portobello market, which is really near to our hostel. I like this neighbourhood, serene and peaceful, far from the maddening crowds in London. A fitting last stop before term starts =)
Then Lydia and Alwyn left to peek at Harrods before going up the London eye with Lester.

http://picasaweb.google.com/guai.ah.lian/LondonEye

Xianhong and I wandered about Kensington Gardens, which has a beautiful pond with swans and ducks swimming around. It was fun to throw bread pieces and see pigeons, sparrows and ducks fluttering about. Now swans are a little different, they are graceful on water but when one big one keeps lumbering towards you on land, it's rather intimidating. Close-up, its enormous beak has sharp, pointy "teeth" and its black inside, and it was going to eat my hand with the bread, help! I can't believe how tiny I looked in the video, I always thought I was bigger... humph

http://picasaweb.google.com/guai.ah.lian/LazyLondon

After which we admired a few grand buildings, like Royal Albert Hall... before visiting the Natural and Science Museum. The dinosaur skeleton at the entrance recalled to me when I was very little and spent a day there with my littler brother copying scientific notes! Now, I spent an afternoon at the same place with a bigger guy discovering the other inhabitants of Earth.

Dinner was the famous Four Seasons duck rice. We had to order take-away because the restaurant was crowded and the queue was long. The Caucasian in front of us carried a large carton full of duck rice/noodle packets! We bought ours and hurried back to the hostel before it got cold and it was delicious!

Quote: Funny, we fed the ducks in the afternoon and now they're feeding us -- Xianhong

After a restful day, we're ready to tackle anything that the rest of the school term brings. Bring it on!

Across the English Channel... april 18, 2007

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MUMMY! I yelled over the phone to her in Paris the day before because of the time difference. Wish I could be there to celebrate with her but well... I got her a birthday present in Venice and can't wait to give it to her when I get home! (No pictures here, don't want to spoil the surprise)

Ok, back to travelling... First, we had to take a train to Calais that transits at Lille Flanders, then buy tickets to take a ferry to Dover, then another train to London, then a tube to wherever we're staying... yikes, sure want all the travelling to stop but don't want Easter to end =(

Idyllic Calais...

White cliffs of Dover...It sounds grand to be sailing to UK from France but it isn't actually. One just sees water all around but the ferry was spacious and comfortable, a real relief from other smoky ferries (where one's face contorts at the noxious fumes) and cramped trains (where one's body contorts in vain attempts to find a cosy nook).

I highly recommend travelling by Seafrance...

Tired of rushing to wait and waiting to rush...Touring European cities is an amazing experience but we all do look forward to understanding and being understood without resorting to guessing intelligently and gesticulating with sign language. It feels witless to keep moving my finger from "Napoli" to "Roma" to a frustrated counter staff, so... good ol' England!

Paris... april 16-18, 2007

On arriving in Paris, our first destination was Louvre. It is of gigantic proportions and contained so much art that we were lost. The top three attractions were Mona Lisa (no photos allowed), Venus de Milo and the Winged Victory. I always found the Venus de Milo funny because of a silly science cartoon on time travel. The time travellers broke one arm while being chased through the streets of Cyclades and the other arm broken by the chasers who were thugs, the poor sculptor was shocked first time and fainted the second time! To see what our tired legs brought us to see
http://picasaweb.google.com/guai.ah.lian/Louvre

Then we went to Notre Dame before meeting Shang Chye for dinner at Fontaine Saint Michel. This fountain is a meeting place for everyone and there was even a robot dance to entertain us while waiting!

Outside Notre Dame...

http://picasaweb.google.com/guai.ah.lian/NotreDame

Fontaine Saint Michel...

The french onion soup is wonderfully rich with cheese =)

Yummy chocolate mousse!
He told us about his experiences and showed us to the bookshop where the leads met in Before Sunset or was it Before Sunrise? It was nice with a furry kitty and I decided I wanted to watch the show even though it was the wrong order to do things, people dream to see the place after watching the show not the other way round.

Xianhong and Shang Chye... he's a very nice guy, a little blur but so amiable...But I did read about Versailles and determined to see it. The queue there was super long and anyway, the garden alone was impressive enough. At the top of the stairs, one could see a long path stretching ahead with a central man-made lake and gardens at the side.

http://picasaweb.google.com/guai.ah.lian/VersaillesGarden

Our train ride there was scary though, the train a young staff told us to take stopped before Versailles and then turned back all the way to the other end of Paris! In darkness at high speed! Luckily the train driver calmed my panicked nerves when I pulled the emergency stop frantically.

Back in Paris, we went to see the Arc de Triomphe and Eiffel Tower. Nearly everyday, there would be a ceremony held at the Arc and we caught the one for Australia. It was all very serious, with veterans and flowers and solemn singing.

The Eiffel was worth the costly entry fee. The top view was amazing, and it was fun to whizz up (we had learned from our experiences to squeeze near the window, else you'll just be breathing in armpit smell). I didnt find it romantic though, how to with gazillion people around?

http://picasaweb.google.com/guai.ah.lian/EiffelTower

The last destination was the church, Sacre Coeur, which was featured in Amelie (very whimsical film). I think this has to be my favourite church. More from the serene atmosphere than from the refine artwork inside (they were really beautiful, too bad no photography). It also has a pretty name, Sacre Coeur means sacred heart. To complete the loveliness of it all, there was a harpist outside and hearing the deep thrummings on a warm, balmy day is something magical.

The merry-go-round at the church's base in Amelie...

Sacre Coeur, Sacred heart...

Harp music...